Change of direction

About to take a giant leap
into the unknown

For a while now, I've been thinking about what to do next.  I love the freelance TV news work I do and I'm just about starting to get some freelance magazine commissions too.  But that won't be enough to keep the wolf from the door in a year's time when the freelance shifts come to an end.

I've applied for all sorts of positions advertised in the Media Guardian or on Gorkhana to no avail and come to the conclusion that my CV simply doesn't stand out.  To add to that, now that the children are at school, the jigsaw puzzle of childcare is all the more intricate.  Plus, I want to be there for them while they're not too embarassed to have me around and ferry them to/support them at their various sporting/social activities.

The final clincher came when a friend confided that she had always wanted to be a writer and asked me if I would be her mentor.  I was shocked to be asked!  But, actually, she's right in that to an outsider, although I'm no India Knight/Zoe Williams/(insert name here of countless other women whose writings I admire) I am 10 years ahead of her in the game in which we both have ambition.  The difference is that she's a qualified midwife so would have a level of expertise to hone her writing skills around.  But when they say write about what you know and I look down my CV, I see that I'm no expert in anything (except procrastination - tomorrow I'll find a better pun than that to fit this space.)

Then I realised that the amateur obsession with nutrition and fitness, that I've indulged since my teens, might be put to better use.  Admittedly, my obsession was pretty irritating to others at one point - just ask my sisters.  They remember a phase where every time they raised something to their mouths I'd tell them how many calories were in it.  What a bore!  But I grew out of that quickly and painfully, vowing never to be the hectoring, evangelical type as it just makes people do precisely the opposite.

Me on the home strait.
Don't let those thighs be an advert
for my future employment!

So, what if I turned professional?  What if the hobby I practice became something I was actually qualified to preach about?  Well, after my usual initial dithering, I've bitten the bullet.  For the cost of a weekend away and the equivalent of a few pairs of the expensive trainers I'm hankering after (this week), I can get an NVQ qualification that will enable me to become a part-time instructor at the fitness classes I've been attending for the past two years.  As an added bonus, the current monthly fee I pay to attend those classes, and will need to continue attending as part of the training, becomes zero.  As another added bonus, I will soon be able to bore people about my obsession from a position of knowledge, rather than as someone who occasionally buys Zest Magazine or Runner's World.  Win, win, win!

The trouble is that those negative voices that all of us have start up.  What if I'm no good at it?  How hard will it be for the poacher to become game-keeper?  I mean, I will have to instruct and admonish the very people with whom I have hitherto been the person they have gossipped!  Plus, I'm a petite female, not the normal six foot beefcake they're used to jumping to it for!  l'll have to raise my voice a few decibels (I've been practising on the children!) keep a sense of humour, be organised and ON TIME; be reliable and motiviational; out in all weathers.  But I CAN do it and I want to do it so that I can write about it, research some theories, help people feel good about themselves and earn a few pennies.  I can't wait!

I've had a few sleepless nights worrying about it though. Actually, worry is too strong a word for it. The sleepless nights have been caused by me visualising myself doing the job, thinking up lesson plans and alternative exercises for people to do. I think I CAN encourage people who hate the idea of exercise that the benefits of it will pay off.  I think I CAN create sessions so that the more able can go off and do something that requires endurance while the beginners concentrate on skill and technique and then build up their stamina.  I think I've got the support of the instructor I've confided in, who will probably be my future boss!  And I know I've got the penchant for wordsmithery that might benefit the organisation in the long run.  (Geddit - long run?!! )  Oh dear, I'm going to have to work on that humour aren't I?  But I'm prepared to and I can't wait to get started.