I've just started blogging about our experience as Guide Dog volunteers for our local county magazine as well.
Read on if you're interested in all things four-legged and furry!
THE TALE THAT WAGS THE BLOG
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
THE TOP SEVEN RULES FOR LIFE
The Times columnist Alice Thomson recently wrote admiringly about a high-powered GP she had interviewed whose husband ran a big conglomerate. They had four highly successful children and a wonderful marriage. How did they do it?
“I’ve had the same curtains for 40 years, I’ve never had a pedicure, I allowed myself to enjoy my job, we occasionally ate tinned macaroni cheese and I let my children be who they wanted to be,” she said. “Just stop worrying.”
It got me thinking. As parents, do we worry too much about whether we're doing the right thing by our children? They've never had it so good in terms of nutrition, opportunities and information at their screen-addicted fingertips.
When it comes to the crunch, our role is simply to teach them to become independent, isn't it? Sad though it is (sometimes!), our job is to teach them not to need us anymore. So what do you wish you'd been taught earlier? What 10 commandments do you think our children really ought to adhere to, instead of learning Mandarin and playing for Chelsea, which - let's face it - are just not an option for most of us? If you were to get knocked over by the proverbial bus tomorrow, what advice would you have wanted to leave behind for them in a letter? Here are my top nine (subject to change as I think of more!):
YOUR MIND - Use it or lose it. Read, write, draw, do puzzles, play games, experiment, try new activities, and most importantly LISTEN. You have one mouth and two ears for a reason! You are so lucky to have a free education. Grown ups pay for it in their taxes, but you don't have to pay for your school books and bring them with you. Nor do you have to walk for miles to find the nearest teacher. Appreciate school. Adults look back at their school years, when so much was done for them and so many different options lay ahead of them, and think of them as the happiest times of their lives.
BE DIFFERENT AND APPRECIATE DIFFERENCE - Learn from other adults and children too. We're all different. That's what makes life interesting. People like Mark Ormrod have been able to achieve incredible feats despite what life has thrown at them. Remember them when you're feeling lazy or uninspired. Aim to get the qualifications for a career that you're going to really enjoy, not just a job that pays well or sounds good. This is one of the biggest decisions you'll ever make. The other is who you'll share your life with and that should be based on the mind too. Whose advice will you rely on in years to come? Who will you be able to rely on and who won't you mind being there for when they are ill, unhappy or struggling with something?
BE YOU - You're special. Unique. But so is everyone else and we've all got just as much right to be here and to be treated with respect and courtesy. So treat other people as you would like to be treated. If you're polite to people, they are usually polite back. If you are helpful, they'll remember and often return the favour. See the film Pay it Forward. But don't be a doormat either. Stand up for yourself and, using your voice and your reason, explain to someone who has upset you or hurt your feelings why you feel wronged. Ask for an apology and then move on. We all make mistakes. That's another way we learn. Pay It Forward
YOUR SOULMATE - Friends and family are so important because experiences are much more fun if there's someone to share it with. Your brother or sister will always be there for you, no matter how annoying you find them, and s/he's the only other person in the world who knows what it's like to be you. So take care of him. Take your time in working out who else you can really trust and who you want to spend time with. Choose people that make you feel comfortable - not those that drag you down or bully you into doing things you're not happy with. Be generous with your time when you’re with those people you love, rather than assuming they’ll always be there. Like, for instance, looking up from your Smart Phone every now and then when they're communicating with you 😉 Be thoughtful and remember dates that are special to them. Be patient and take the time to listen to them and try to explain how you are feeling, if ever you are worried about something, because they are on your team and want you to succeed. They are there to help you figure things out when you've got a difficult decision to make. Think about how they are feeling too.
YOUR SKIN - This is your body's largest organ. It's important to take care of it because it's what people see first and first impressions are important in both relationships and job interviews. Apart from the need for basic hygiene, because being smelly can be quite off-putting, you need to wash your face daily. Splash your face with water and gently rub it with a flannel to get rid of dead skin cells. You don't need to buy expensive chemical products to keep your face free of spots and bumps. That just gets rid of your skin's natural oils. Steer clear for as long as you can. But DO wash and DO wear sunscreen in the spring and summer. Put it on your ears, the back of your neck, your nose - have fun with it. Sunburn is very painful, causes skin cancer and it damages your skin, giving you wrinkles and freckles before you're old enough to have earned them. There's a great Baz Luhrman song about this here. He has other good advice too!
YOUR TEETH - This is the third thing that people first notice about you (after your eyes and skin, hopefully!) Clean your teeth twice a day using your electric toothbrush - WITHOUT FAIL. No matter how tired you are. And lay off the sweet stuff! Nothing tastes so good that it's worth the pain, expense and ugliness of having your teeth drilled and filled. Eat apples and cheese to cleanse your teeth at the end of a meal and drink only water between meals. This takes some self-discipline but it's a very small price to pay. If you do have painful teeth, get them checked as soon as possible. It's much easier for the dentist to deal with a small problem than for you to have delayed treatment until a lengthy, painful and costly repair is needed.
YOUR SIZE AND SHAPE - Everybody's different. Your appearance is partly inherited from your dad and I and partly determined by what you do with your body and what you put inside it. Take care of it. There is temptation everywhere. Resist it. It just earns confectionary companies (un)healthy profits. Be sensible. But have the occasional treat mixed in with healthy portions of what helps your body to grow and repair itself. Find a sport or activity that you enjoy and do it often. When you first try alcohol, drink slowly. It dehydrates your body, like tea and coffee does, so drink lots of water as well. Alcohol is a poison. You only need a small amount to feel nice and relaxed. Any more than that and you can feel very, very poorly and have no control over what you're doing and no memory of it. You don't want to be that guy or girl who throws up all over someone else's shoes or insults their friends. Be careful. And look after the guy or girl who does get themselves in a mess.
YOUR THINGS - People might judge you by how you look, what you wear and what sort of mobile phone you have or car you drive. That doesn't really matter. Although not having enough money is a worry, it's not important to be rich. What's important is what you do and how you act. So spend your money on things that you really need and will use a lot. Choose good quality, well-made products that you won't have to keep replacing because the world hasn't got room for lots of chucked-out things that don't biodegrade. (Get a dictionary...!) Look after the possessions you do own. Keep them tidied away so that you know where to find them and take out those things that have sentimental value every now and then, just to remember the good times 😍 Having too much clutter around can make you feel mentally cluttered. Have a one-in, one-out policy. If you buy something new, donate something else.
Lastly, of course, HAVE FUN! Sometimes you need to manufacture that fun and quash the voice inside your head that always points out the negative by pressing an imaginary, big, fat mute button! That takes practice and not even us old dinosaurs are very good at it, but we try.
“I’ve had the same curtains for 40 years, I’ve never had a pedicure, I allowed myself to enjoy my job, we occasionally ate tinned macaroni cheese and I let my children be who they wanted to be,” she said. “Just stop worrying.”
It got me thinking. As parents, do we worry too much about whether we're doing the right thing by our children? They've never had it so good in terms of nutrition, opportunities and information at their screen-addicted fingertips.
When it comes to the crunch, our role is simply to teach them to become independent, isn't it? Sad though it is (sometimes!), our job is to teach them not to need us anymore. So what do you wish you'd been taught earlier? What 10 commandments do you think our children really ought to adhere to, instead of learning Mandarin and playing for Chelsea, which - let's face it - are just not an option for most of us? If you were to get knocked over by the proverbial bus tomorrow, what advice would you have wanted to leave behind for them in a letter? Here are my top nine (subject to change as I think of more!):
YOUR MIND - Use it or lose it. Read, write, draw, do puzzles, play games, experiment, try new activities, and most importantly LISTEN. You have one mouth and two ears for a reason! You are so lucky to have a free education. Grown ups pay for it in their taxes, but you don't have to pay for your school books and bring them with you. Nor do you have to walk for miles to find the nearest teacher. Appreciate school. Adults look back at their school years, when so much was done for them and so many different options lay ahead of them, and think of them as the happiest times of their lives.
BE DIFFERENT AND APPRECIATE DIFFERENCE - Learn from other adults and children too. We're all different. That's what makes life interesting. People like Mark Ormrod have been able to achieve incredible feats despite what life has thrown at them. Remember them when you're feeling lazy or uninspired. Aim to get the qualifications for a career that you're going to really enjoy, not just a job that pays well or sounds good. This is one of the biggest decisions you'll ever make. The other is who you'll share your life with and that should be based on the mind too. Whose advice will you rely on in years to come? Who will you be able to rely on and who won't you mind being there for when they are ill, unhappy or struggling with something?
BE YOU - You're special. Unique. But so is everyone else and we've all got just as much right to be here and to be treated with respect and courtesy. So treat other people as you would like to be treated. If you're polite to people, they are usually polite back. If you are helpful, they'll remember and often return the favour. See the film Pay it Forward. But don't be a doormat either. Stand up for yourself and, using your voice and your reason, explain to someone who has upset you or hurt your feelings why you feel wronged. Ask for an apology and then move on. We all make mistakes. That's another way we learn. Pay It Forward
YOUR SOULMATE - Friends and family are so important because experiences are much more fun if there's someone to share it with. Your brother or sister will always be there for you, no matter how annoying you find them, and s/he's the only other person in the world who knows what it's like to be you. So take care of him. Take your time in working out who else you can really trust and who you want to spend time with. Choose people that make you feel comfortable - not those that drag you down or bully you into doing things you're not happy with. Be generous with your time when you’re with those people you love, rather than assuming they’ll always be there. Like, for instance, looking up from your Smart Phone every now and then when they're communicating with you 😉 Be thoughtful and remember dates that are special to them. Be patient and take the time to listen to them and try to explain how you are feeling, if ever you are worried about something, because they are on your team and want you to succeed. They are there to help you figure things out when you've got a difficult decision to make. Think about how they are feeling too.
YOUR SKIN - This is your body's largest organ. It's important to take care of it because it's what people see first and first impressions are important in both relationships and job interviews. Apart from the need for basic hygiene, because being smelly can be quite off-putting, you need to wash your face daily. Splash your face with water and gently rub it with a flannel to get rid of dead skin cells. You don't need to buy expensive chemical products to keep your face free of spots and bumps. That just gets rid of your skin's natural oils. Steer clear for as long as you can. But DO wash and DO wear sunscreen in the spring and summer. Put it on your ears, the back of your neck, your nose - have fun with it. Sunburn is very painful, causes skin cancer and it damages your skin, giving you wrinkles and freckles before you're old enough to have earned them. There's a great Baz Luhrman song about this here. He has other good advice too!
YOUR TEETH - This is the third thing that people first notice about you (after your eyes and skin, hopefully!) Clean your teeth twice a day using your electric toothbrush - WITHOUT FAIL. No matter how tired you are. And lay off the sweet stuff! Nothing tastes so good that it's worth the pain, expense and ugliness of having your teeth drilled and filled. Eat apples and cheese to cleanse your teeth at the end of a meal and drink only water between meals. This takes some self-discipline but it's a very small price to pay. If you do have painful teeth, get them checked as soon as possible. It's much easier for the dentist to deal with a small problem than for you to have delayed treatment until a lengthy, painful and costly repair is needed.
YOUR SIZE AND SHAPE - Everybody's different. Your appearance is partly inherited from your dad and I and partly determined by what you do with your body and what you put inside it. Take care of it. There is temptation everywhere. Resist it. It just earns confectionary companies (un)healthy profits. Be sensible. But have the occasional treat mixed in with healthy portions of what helps your body to grow and repair itself. Find a sport or activity that you enjoy and do it often. When you first try alcohol, drink slowly. It dehydrates your body, like tea and coffee does, so drink lots of water as well. Alcohol is a poison. You only need a small amount to feel nice and relaxed. Any more than that and you can feel very, very poorly and have no control over what you're doing and no memory of it. You don't want to be that guy or girl who throws up all over someone else's shoes or insults their friends. Be careful. And look after the guy or girl who does get themselves in a mess.
YOUR THINGS - People might judge you by how you look, what you wear and what sort of mobile phone you have or car you drive. That doesn't really matter. Although not having enough money is a worry, it's not important to be rich. What's important is what you do and how you act. So spend your money on things that you really need and will use a lot. Choose good quality, well-made products that you won't have to keep replacing because the world hasn't got room for lots of chucked-out things that don't biodegrade. (Get a dictionary...!) Look after the possessions you do own. Keep them tidied away so that you know where to find them and take out those things that have sentimental value every now and then, just to remember the good times 😍 Having too much clutter around can make you feel mentally cluttered. Have a one-in, one-out policy. If you buy something new, donate something else.
Lastly, of course, HAVE FUN! Sometimes you need to manufacture that fun and quash the voice inside your head that always points out the negative by pressing an imaginary, big, fat mute button! That takes practice and not even us old dinosaurs are very good at it, but we try.
Sunday, February 20, 2011
LOST
My poor, neglected, web-child! About time I wrote again.
Here's something that I scribbled for a writer's group I'm in on the theme of 'lost', to fill my recent cyber gap:
Once, in a crowded city shopping centre, I reached up to hold my mum's hand and tell her something - but she wasn't there!
Instead, an unfamiliar, bemused face stared back at me. It can't have been a kind face either - but that may have been just because I didn't know it.
I wanted to see my mum's clear blue eyes, creamy cheekbones, lipsticked smile and neatly powdered nose. I felt utterly lost and panic-stricken.
I searched round, frightened, with all sorts of 'what ifs' going through my head as I wandered amongst grown up legs. I was bewildered.
More than anything, I wanted her hand to hold mine again. She had this way of clutching our palms together but stroking the side of my hand with her little finger. I found it comforting and would later mimic it with my own children. One of whom got lost in a shopping centre for the longest 2 minutes of my life!
So I knew exactly how he felt and how my own mum must have felt that day with me. Fortunately, in both cases, we were reunited within a short space of time. But it always feels like hours when someone goes missing.
Here's something that I scribbled for a writer's group I'm in on the theme of 'lost', to fill my recent cyber gap:
Once, in a crowded city shopping centre, I reached up to hold my mum's hand and tell her something - but she wasn't there!
Instead, an unfamiliar, bemused face stared back at me. It can't have been a kind face either - but that may have been just because I didn't know it.
I wanted to see my mum's clear blue eyes, creamy cheekbones, lipsticked smile and neatly powdered nose. I felt utterly lost and panic-stricken.
I searched round, frightened, with all sorts of 'what ifs' going through my head as I wandered amongst grown up legs. I was bewildered.
More than anything, I wanted her hand to hold mine again. She had this way of clutching our palms together but stroking the side of my hand with her little finger. I found it comforting and would later mimic it with my own children. One of whom got lost in a shopping centre for the longest 2 minutes of my life!
So I knew exactly how he felt and how my own mum must have felt that day with me. Fortunately, in both cases, we were reunited within a short space of time. But it always feels like hours when someone goes missing.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Change of direction
 |
| About to take a giant leap into the unknown |
For a while now, I've been thinking about what to do next. I love the freelance TV news work I do and I'm just about starting to get some freelance magazine commissions too. But that won't be enough to keep the wolf from the door in a year's time when the freelance shifts come to an end.
I've applied for all sorts of positions advertised in the Media Guardian or on Gorkhana to no avail and come to the conclusion that my CV simply doesn't stand out. To add to that, now that the children are at school, the jigsaw puzzle of childcare is all the more intricate. Plus, I want to be there for them while they're not too embarassed to have me around and ferry them to/support them at their various sporting/social activities.
The final clincher came when a friend confided that she had always wanted to be a writer and asked me if I would be her mentor. I was shocked to be asked! But, actually, she's right in that to an outsider, although I'm no India Knight/Zoe Williams/(insert name here of countless other women whose writings I admire) I am 10 years ahead of her in the game in which we both have ambition. The difference is that she's a qualified midwife so would have a level of expertise to hone her writing skills around. But when they say write about what you know and I look down my CV, I see that I'm no expert in anything (except procrastination - tomorrow I'll find a better pun than that to fit this space.)
Then I realised that the amateur obsession with nutrition and fitness, that I've indulged since my teens, might be put to better use. Admittedly, my obsession was pretty irritating to others at one point - just ask my sisters. They remember a phase where every time they raised something to their mouths I'd tell them how many calories were in it. What a bore! But I grew out of that quickly and painfully, vowing never to be the hectoring, evangelical type as it just makes people do precisely the opposite.
 |
| Me on the home strait. Don't let those thighs be an advert for my future employment! |
The trouble is that those negative voices that all of us have start up. What if I'm no good at it? How hard will it be for the poacher to become game-keeper? I mean, I will have to instruct and admonish the very people with whom I have hitherto been the person they have gossipped! Plus, I'm a petite female, not the normal six foot beefcake they're used to jumping to it for! l'll have to raise my voice a few decibels (I've been practising on the children!) keep a sense of humour, be organised and ON TIME; be reliable and motiviational; out in all weathers. But I CAN do it and I want to do it so that I can write about it, research some theories, help people feel good about themselves and earn a few pennies. I can't wait!
I've had a few sleepless nights worrying about it though. Actually, worry is too strong a word for it. The sleepless nights have been caused by me visualising myself doing the job, thinking up lesson plans and alternative exercises for people to do. I think I CAN encourage people who hate the idea of exercise that the benefits of it will pay off. I think I CAN create sessions so that the more able can go off and do something that requires endurance while the beginners concentrate on skill and technique and then build up their stamina. I think I've got the support of the instructor I've confided in, who will probably be my future boss! And I know I've got the penchant for wordsmithery that might benefit the organisation in the long run. (Geddit - long run?!! ) Oh dear, I'm going to have to work on that humour aren't I? But I'm prepared to and I can't wait to get started.
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