Ok, so you're a mother or father of boys. Welcome to the fold! Especially if, like me, that makes you the solitary female in your household - a footy mad household at that!
Fortunately, I was a tomboy and played as a child. So, welcome too, to anyone who has football-loving daughters. Thank goodness they're able to play the game now, whereas in. my day, there was uproar when I shunned netball for the beautiful game in PE lessons. I even went so far as to buy loads of bubble gum packets with each week's pocket money so I could fill my sticker book with pictures of Bob Latchford (Everton?) and Kevin Keegan!
Now, my children play - and boy is it a serious business! It took a while to understand the intricacies of being offside or the variations on the rules that apply to Under 10s teams. But I've come a long way since I first signed up my eldest son to play for a local youth team. So, here are the mud-splattered tips that I've picked up on the way.
1) GIVE THEM A HEAD START
Whether you sign them up to a local Saturday fun club like SCL or PSR Coaching or maybe a local professional team has a kids' coaching section that comes to your children's school, it helps to get in plenty of practice in the garden or the local playing fields beforehand. This gives you a chance to explain the basic rules, instil a bit of "it's only a game" ethos into them, before they flounce off at every miss-kick and might mean you have to be keeper - always a joy! Especially as they learn to put real power behind their shots and you end up winded, eyes watering, congratulating them on their skills!
2) THE NEXT STAGE
It doesn't take long for them to outgrow the Saturday coaching sessions - maybe by the age of six or seven. Then they'll increasingly want to play matches rather than have endless skills sessions and this is where the fun really starts - for them & for you as chauffeur, kit provider and chief bottle washer! Via word of mouth and Google, find out where your nearest local youth team trains. This is of huge consequence because you'll be gaining a collossal carbon footprint as it is traipsing up and down the county to weekend matches. So to be able to pop down the road to weekly or twice weekly training sessions is a bonus - I wish I'd thought of this before I signed the dotted line!
3) CHIN UP!
Once you've chosen a team, phone up and find out when the team trials are taking place. These are usually sometime in the summer to prepare for the start of the season in September. But bear in mind that there are some really talented kids out there and your child might not get selected. Don't give up though! Children move away or get scouted to play for a club that's higher in the league so try out for other clubs with lots of teams in different divisions to suit all abilities.
4) RULES FOR GROWN UPS
The aim of the game is for your child to learn about fair play, losing and winning gracefully, sticking to the rules and to, hopefully, ward off adding to the obesity statistics into the bargain. So it helps if you're a calming influence on the sidelines rather than a ranting, swearing ref-hating crisis on legs! There are, in fact, strict guidelines on how supporters should behave while their child, niece, nephew or neighbour is playing so bear these in mind or the opposition coach can have a word with your team's coach and it all gets a bit embarassing. There is also a fee to pay, kit to buy and strict guidelines - similar to adult football - on your child moving to another club etc.
5) AL FRESCO
It goes without saying that you'll need boots, gloves, hats, coats and a flask either of the hip variety or containing something caffeinated to keep you going while you cheer on your side. Or wait for play to start. Or warm up after learning how to build the goal posts. But bear in mind that while the male of the species can make do with an overgrown tree, few local football grounds have decent facilities of the lavatorial kind! It's worth recce'ing local pubs and coffee shops in advance. They're also a good place to venture too if you can't take watching anymore - especially if your team is losing!
6) THE SILVER LINING
Ok, so you're out of pocket; you've lost your weekend lie-ins and seem to be perpetually washing horrible nylon fabric or trying to get shin pads clean (at this, I am STILL at a loss!) but, with any luck, you've made some new friends amongst the other MADS - the parental version of WAGS. But most of all, there is nothing like the glory of watching your child revel in the fact that they've just scored, or their team has just won, or they've saved a certain goal or gained the man-of-the-match trophy or, if all else fails, gained recognition for fair play. For that moment, to coin a phrase, it's all worth it!
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Monday, November 15, 2010
ELEMENTARY
Love, love, love Sherlock Holmes! Much as I struggled to read the books, I adored Julian Barnes’ Arthur and George, which gave an insight into the real-life genius of author Arthur Conan Doyle. So I watched the new TV drama series from a new perspective.
The modern take on the original plots using new techniques like blogging and text messages shown as subtitles on screen was just brilliant.
As for the casting, the chocolate-voiced, quirky, stylish Benedict Cumberbatch was perfect as Sherlock. However, that chocolate voice had a lot to answer for as it very nearly caused a cancelled interview for telly land: a throat infection meant Benedict was quite hoarse the night before he was due to grace our sofa. Thankfully, he eventually decided he was up to it and the script introducing him, rather than one of the series' writers, was quickly reinstated.
Martin Freeman's Dr John Watson, who had been invalided home from the war in Afghanistan, brought the series bang up to date. They meet while Watson is looking for affordable accommodation in London and an old mutual friend introduces them.
I feel sure Mr Conan Doyle would have approved of both the casting and the modern interpretation of his stories, and his descendants seem to have given their approval.
But, whatever I've called this post, at no point in the original stories does Sherlock say "elementary my dear Watson" and these films remain faithful to that. Maybe this will make more people want to read the original Conan Doyle books too? Meanwhile, there’s a competition where have a go at writing something yourself here - click on The Contest.
The modern take on the original plots using new techniques like blogging and text messages shown as subtitles on screen was just brilliant.
As for the casting, the chocolate-voiced, quirky, stylish Benedict Cumberbatch was perfect as Sherlock. However, that chocolate voice had a lot to answer for as it very nearly caused a cancelled interview for telly land: a throat infection meant Benedict was quite hoarse the night before he was due to grace our sofa. Thankfully, he eventually decided he was up to it and the script introducing him, rather than one of the series' writers, was quickly reinstated.
Martin Freeman's Dr John Watson, who had been invalided home from the war in Afghanistan, brought the series bang up to date. They meet while Watson is looking for affordable accommodation in London and an old mutual friend introduces them.
As in the original Conan Doyle stories, Watson is the story-teller and, get this: his character writes up all the cases in his blog, just as Watson wrote up the cases that formed the original books. But this Watson is horrified, at first, by Sherlock's ego and by the way he treats a dead body like a game.
Director, Steven Moffat, of Dr Who fame, said at the time: "Benedict is playing a cold, almost alien-like man in Sherlock and John Watson is the person who humanises him - they are a unit together.
"Whilst other detectives have cases, Holmes has adventures. Sherlock isn't a drama about police procedure - the police are involved but the cases themselves are Sherlock's and he's only interested in the strange ones."
However, it's not all doom and gloom. Moffat continues: "The original books are funny. If you read the Sherlock Holmes stories, the interaction between the two main characters is always funny and I hope we've captured some element of that. Of course it's funny - he's a weird genius, not an ordinary genius."
However, it's not all doom and gloom. Moffat continues: "The original books are funny. If you read the Sherlock Holmes stories, the interaction between the two main characters is always funny and I hope we've captured some element of that. Of course it's funny - he's a weird genius, not an ordinary genius."
But, whatever I've called this post, at no point in the original stories does Sherlock say "elementary my dear Watson" and these films remain faithful to that. Maybe this will make more people want to read the original Conan Doyle books too? Meanwhile, there’s a competition where have a go at writing something yourself here - click on The Contest.
COMMON PEOPLE
I was thrilled to meet one of my musical heroes, Jarvis Cocker, in April this year.
He wanted to 'live like common people' and famously sang about the girl who studied at St Martin's College. I always thought that song was autobiographical and it turns out it was. Jarvis was himself a student at that art and design school in London, graduating with a 2:2 in fine art, before he went on to great success as the lead singer of Pulp and as a figurehead for 90s Britpop. Now he wants to see more children engaged with art and is encouraging them to visit museums.
He’s launched Culture Connect, a partnership of 15 galleries and museums in London, Paris and Brussels. Artists, students from St Martins College of Art and Design and local school children marked the event by creating a modern mural at St Pancras International station depicting world famous works of art from the galleries - including the TATE and Les Galeries Nationales in Paris.
Jarvis hosted an arts series for Channel 4 - "Journeys into the Outside”, which I haven’t seen but it involved following him while he took a trip across the globe, meeting so-called "outsider artists", people who create wacky and wonderful works of art; trying to understand what compelled them to do so. What a great job! But it turns out Jarvis doesn’t actually like going to art galleries, so he understands kids’ reluctance to do so.
In an interview with the Independent in 1999, he said: "They remind me of going to church - the formal atmosphere, people looking at things on the wall, attempting to get some kind of mystical revelation from them."
So he thinks they should be less formal and more creative. In a later interview, for Pitchfork, he: "I want to have as many events that involve some level of participation from the audience as possible. Because I do want to have that feeling that people are actively involved in something, rather than just consuming something. I suppose because it's such a dominant capitalist society now, everything becomes a consumer product. And I don't think that's really appropriate to the creative arts, really."
That explains why, in 2009, ahead of the release his new album, Further Complications, Jarvis and his band installed themselves in an art gallery in Paris for five days. Each day, Cocker and his musicians performed a variety of different tasks. These included soundtracking a relaxation class, inviting local musicians to join them in a jam, and arranging activities with local school-children. The events were organised around Jarvis's public rehearsals for his forthcoming live dates. This was all to explore what would happen if he invited an audience to interact with him and the music. Now something like that, even me and my anti-cultural kids might go and see.
In his interview for BBC Breakfast, he said: "TV, films and the internet may be great at showing you what something looks like, but they're no substitute for seeing them with your own eyes. Some of the world's greatest treasures are housed in museums and galleries in Paris, London and Brussels and I want to encourage people to explore these rich collections."
He has a seven-year-old son, Albert, with his french ex-wife. He's also talked in the past about feeling guilty about just sticking his son in front of a Walt Disney film, when he needed some peace and quiet, because he doesn't think that's how film, art etc, should be consumed. We’re all guilty of that, I’m sure. But we can't always be out at cultural museums and art galleries. For one thing, it's tough to tempt a child to venture there. While many are free to visit, they do need to do something about their ‘stuffy’ reputation and I think they’re starting to get that message. My friend worked for the V&A for years and devised educational backpacks for kids to walk round the exhibitions with, laden with quizzes and things to find. They’ve definitely taken off elsewhere too. So in this era of digital media, it’s worth us all taking the time to visit real relics you can see, sometimes touch, and walk round occasionally. It inspires future creativity and was build to last in the olden days, not like todays disposable 'stuff’.
He wanted to 'live like common people' and famously sang about the girl who studied at St Martin's College. I always thought that song was autobiographical and it turns out it was. Jarvis was himself a student at that art and design school in London, graduating with a 2:2 in fine art, before he went on to great success as the lead singer of Pulp and as a figurehead for 90s Britpop. Now he wants to see more children engaged with art and is encouraging them to visit museums.
He’s launched Culture Connect, a partnership of 15 galleries and museums in London, Paris and Brussels. Artists, students from St Martins College of Art and Design and local school children marked the event by creating a modern mural at St Pancras International station depicting world famous works of art from the galleries - including the TATE and Les Galeries Nationales in Paris.
Jarvis hosted an arts series for Channel 4 - "Journeys into the Outside”, which I haven’t seen but it involved following him while he took a trip across the globe, meeting so-called "outsider artists", people who create wacky and wonderful works of art; trying to understand what compelled them to do so. What a great job! But it turns out Jarvis doesn’t actually like going to art galleries, so he understands kids’ reluctance to do so.
In an interview with the Independent in 1999, he said: "They remind me of going to church - the formal atmosphere, people looking at things on the wall, attempting to get some kind of mystical revelation from them."
So he thinks they should be less formal and more creative. In a later interview, for Pitchfork, he: "I want to have as many events that involve some level of participation from the audience as possible. Because I do want to have that feeling that people are actively involved in something, rather than just consuming something. I suppose because it's such a dominant capitalist society now, everything becomes a consumer product. And I don't think that's really appropriate to the creative arts, really."
That explains why, in 2009, ahead of the release his new album, Further Complications, Jarvis and his band installed themselves in an art gallery in Paris for five days. Each day, Cocker and his musicians performed a variety of different tasks. These included soundtracking a relaxation class, inviting local musicians to join them in a jam, and arranging activities with local school-children. The events were organised around Jarvis's public rehearsals for his forthcoming live dates. This was all to explore what would happen if he invited an audience to interact with him and the music. Now something like that, even me and my anti-cultural kids might go and see.
In his interview for BBC Breakfast, he said: "TV, films and the internet may be great at showing you what something looks like, but they're no substitute for seeing them with your own eyes. Some of the world's greatest treasures are housed in museums and galleries in Paris, London and Brussels and I want to encourage people to explore these rich collections."
He has a seven-year-old son, Albert, with his french ex-wife. He's also talked in the past about feeling guilty about just sticking his son in front of a Walt Disney film, when he needed some peace and quiet, because he doesn't think that's how film, art etc, should be consumed. We’re all guilty of that, I’m sure. But we can't always be out at cultural museums and art galleries. For one thing, it's tough to tempt a child to venture there. While many are free to visit, they do need to do something about their ‘stuffy’ reputation and I think they’re starting to get that message. My friend worked for the V&A for years and devised educational backpacks for kids to walk round the exhibitions with, laden with quizzes and things to find. They’ve definitely taken off elsewhere too. So in this era of digital media, it’s worth us all taking the time to visit real relics you can see, sometimes touch, and walk round occasionally. It inspires future creativity and was build to last in the olden days, not like todays disposable 'stuff’.
TOUGH CALL
Five soldiers were killed by a 'rogue' Afghan police officer they were training in 2009. The soldier opened fire while they were all on a break at a checkpoint in the Nad-e'Ali District of Helmand Province. The divided loyalty he must have felt and their deaths called into question NATO's strategy of working with Afghans to help them run their own country.
BBC Breakfast interviewed Christina Lamb, the Sunday Times' foreign correspondent, because she had had a change of heart over the issue, having previously thought the strategy was justified .
She said: "I've been going there, back and forth, for years and I've changed my mind.
The worse the situation has got, the more successful the Taliban has been in invading the occupying army. The strategy of local mentoring has become a recruiting tool for the Taliban rather than the opposite. A credible Government needs to be able to sit back and try to find another way out of this, no matter how difficult all of this is.
"There was never much trust but now no British soldiers are going to want to work with Afghan soldiers. Where Afghan police have been trained and they go on to hold some territory, there have been cases where they've been raping the young boys of people in the village so local people have had to turn against the very people they thought they could trust.
There's been 30 years of war there so many local people haven't had an education - it's difficult to find the quality of people to recruit {to the ANP} and take on the job.
President Obama has been talking about sending more troops but if people don't believe the Government is doing anything for them, and the local police might be more of a threat to them than the Taliban, you're never going to be successful in containing insurgents.”
For anyone close to the British military, as my local community is, the thought that serving soldiers might be killed by someone they thought was on their side is just terrifying. Here’s hoping our involvement in this very complex war is over soon.
BBC Breakfast interviewed Christina Lamb, the Sunday Times' foreign correspondent, because she had had a change of heart over the issue, having previously thought the strategy was justified .
She said: "I've been going there, back and forth, for years and I've changed my mind.
The worse the situation has got, the more successful the Taliban has been in invading the occupying army. The strategy of local mentoring has become a recruiting tool for the Taliban rather than the opposite. A credible Government needs to be able to sit back and try to find another way out of this, no matter how difficult all of this is.
"There was never much trust but now no British soldiers are going to want to work with Afghan soldiers. Where Afghan police have been trained and they go on to hold some territory, there have been cases where they've been raping the young boys of people in the village so local people have had to turn against the very people they thought they could trust.
There's been 30 years of war there so many local people haven't had an education - it's difficult to find the quality of people to recruit {to the ANP} and take on the job.
President Obama has been talking about sending more troops but if people don't believe the Government is doing anything for them, and the local police might be more of a threat to them than the Taliban, you're never going to be successful in containing insurgents.”
For anyone close to the British military, as my local community is, the thought that serving soldiers might be killed by someone they thought was on their side is just terrifying. Here’s hoping our involvement in this very complex war is over soon.
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